the music in my heart.

ahhh how i love music. living in my head is sometimes like living in a movie - not only for the many embarassing moments in my life that could make a good comedy or the many other moments that could make a good tragedy, but mostly because i always have a song playing in my head. it doesn't always match the situation i'm in - it's not like there's this dramatic drums part whenever i'm crossing the street and there's a car approaching me, or a Jaws music (you know, that tum-tum-tum-tum :D) whenever i'm swimming.. :D but almost always there's some song playing in my head, and almost always i sing it out loud whenever i can. sometimes it's a really stupid song (like the ones i catch at work)... but most of the time it's a good song or a worship song. and oh, how i love having a worship stuck in my head. :) it always helps me. because on days when i'm feeling low and sometimes even sad, having a worship stuck in my head always reminds me of what really matters, and makes me feel a lot better... makes me feel thankful for what i have rather than anxious/stressed out/depressed/whatever other bad feeling about what i lost or don't have. :)

and i love singing the songs i have stuck in my head. that's a part of me that not everyone appreciates. :D but yeah, i sing a lot. and when it's a song i really like, when it's a worship that touches my heart and expresses exactly what i feel, it really feels like it's my heart singing. and i know that, as Jack Johnson says in one of his songs, sometimes a heart is no place to be singing from at all.. but other times, when your heart is just lost in Love, it's actually the best place to be singing from. :))
it reminds me of 2 things.
first, it reminds me of Ephesians 5..
'...be filled with the Spirit, adressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ...'
and yep, i love singing and making melody to the Lord with my heart. indeed i LOVE it!!! :)

and then it reminds me of a song The Way I Was Made by Chris Tomlin.

i want to live like there's no tomorrow
i want to dance like no one's around
i want to sing like nobody's listening
before I lay my body down
i want to give like i have plenty
i want to love like i'm not afraid
i want to be the man i was meant to be
i want to be the way i was made

..because yeah, that's the way i was made. i was made with a heart that wants to sing out of joy. i was made to praise God. and i really enjoy it. in both easy and difficult times in my life. God's always worthy of a lovesong from my heart. :)

i've been called weird many times in my life. i think it's not just because of the fact that i'm singing a lot. i guess it's not even only because the most freckled part of me are my feet (i've heard questions about this too many times in past few weeks... yes, those spots are freckles, no, it's not a rash, neither is it any contagious deadly skin disease :D) or because my hands are as small as hands of my 9 years old sister (well whatever, they just didn't grow enough, not my fault :D).. it could be because i enjoy tram rides so much (i love looking around, i love seeing Prague and all the people from a tram, i can't help it :P) or because i always smell a book before i start reading it (i don't know what to say about this one.. maybe just that good books smell so much better than my textbooks for school :D).. it may be because i smile a lot even when i'm just walking by myself (i don't know, sometimes i just feel like smiling without any big reason :P)..
i actually don't know every particular reason why i've been called weird, even though i know about many possibilities. :D but anyway, what i'm trying to get to is that i took a closer look at the word.. the word for 'weird' in czech is 'divný'. which means that it comes from the word 'div' (a wonder) or 'divit se' (to wonder). and i kinda like the idea that i make people wonder. i want to make people wonder why i have so much joy in my life. i want to make people wonder about where i get the love i can give to other people, or where i get the patience i have (sometimes :D). i want to make people wonder about God. and if from time to time i succeed at this, i'm satisfied.. and i don't mind being called weird, being different if it's for God. :)

and oh well, here's a song that has been stuck in my head today. it's not a worship song, it's not about God, but i love all different kinds of music and this song is really good... and it kinda matches what i was talking about :) so this is my 'bye for now song'. and i encourage you to sing like nobody's listening, dance like no one's around, love like you're not afraid!! :):)